StandingStill

Do you ever feel like you are standing still in life? I sure do. But one of the very 1st things I learned about magick, the law of attraction...  is that we are always moving. We are never stationery. We are either moving forward, or we are moving backwards. But I feel like I am just barely treading water. Like I'm wasting time. Just standing still and not accomplishing much of anything at all. It's so hard to explain how I feel. It all comes down to be unhappy. I am not where I am suppose to be. I can feel it. I can sense it. I'm not happy and fulfilled in my job. I want to be a successful passion parties consultant. Making good money. Making others and myself happy. But I'm not there. I'm still in nursing. And the work is not exciting or uplifting to my spirit. It is slow paced, I am bored. So if it is universally impossible to be motionless, to be standing still. Why do we sometimes feel like that is what we are doing?  What is that feeling all about? Where does it come from?  Is that how we know we are unhappy, or need a change?

I guess I actually can identify with the 'moving backwards'. That would make sense now that I think about it. My wages have decreased significantly. The work I'm doing is work I did for 11 years. And that was 7 years ago that I stopped doing this particular work. So, yes. I have moved backwards.

        NOW is the time for change. NOW is the turning point! I have not been working in a facility as a CNA now for about a year & a half. But I am ready to get back. I am ready to stop suffering financially and spiritually. I can't pay my bills. My husband pays for some of my bills. That makes me feel aweful. I do not feel independent! And I absolutely loathe that feeling completely. I am ready to take my life by the reins. I want so badly to be a highly successful consultant. I want to be in the million dollar club & an executive director. I want to inspire others to reach for the stars and find them! I want to be a success story. I want to be able to buy things I want for my spiritual practice, for my everyday life, for my family. I do not like to borrow money from my kids, or not be able to give them a good christmas. It makes me feel like a failure, and that I've gone back in time 10 to 30 years. 

I did have the money. A lot of money. I wasted it. And I did not appreciate it. I was not thankful or grateful for it. I complained, and wished, and whined that it was not enough. So things got worse and worse & I lost it all. I have done much growing spiritually. I've gained knowledge along the way. I have learned to respect everything in the universe and on this planet. I am grateful everyday, for everything. I practice a life of gratitude. And my blessings increase. I recently applied to go back to the retirement center I worked at for 6 years. That too would be going backwards in life. But I want my income back that I deserve. At first I was very heart broken that I was turned down. But I quickly saw it was a blessing. And I am thankful that I tried, and was turned down. Because it got me on the road back to wanting to work in a nursing facility again. I'm not bitter any longer about the things that happened at WRC. Everything happens for a reason. And the very next day I was thinking about calling a facility. And on my last client appointment I was handed a newspaper to read. I turned to the help wanted ads. And the very first help wanted ad was for the facility I had just been thinking of all day long! *giggles* YAY! They are looking for CNA's. AND giving sign on bonus's! I've never gotten a sign on bonus before. I will get this job! I will be happy! And more passion parties bookings will come to me, and I will grow my team and spread the word of passion and increase my consultants, helping the passion parties family grow!

Imbolc Blessings xo ~ WiccanMoon ~

 
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