Apr 30, 2012
My Thought Process:
I'm in the kitchen cleaning up. See that Yoda has a couple of cans of cat food left. So I get upset (because we buried him on 4/20.) - and i toss them in the trash and immediately break down into tears. Remember Joe asking me a few days ago if I want a little black kitten. think -- why would he ask me that. why do i need to expend the energy to love an animal that will just die. And it could end being a bad cat that craps all over the place and meows constantly. which would drive me even more bonkers. and think -- well he is the one that needs an animal to cuddle and love. not me. Too bad he can't give even some of that love to the people around him that need it. next thought -- maybe if he'd gone to counseling with me so many years ago he wouldnt have so many problems. oh well. the counselors said i'd never be anything more than an adornment on his arm and that he doesnt really love me. and that we will never have a real relationship.
Wipe my tears and I go empty my dead rosemary plant from last spring back into the earth from whence it came....