Beltane 2012

tomorrow is Beltane. And here i sit so sad and so disconnected.

 Beltane is the joining of the Lord and the Lady. The earth opening up and life being renewed.
But I feel dead inside instead of happy.

quit my cna job (certified nursing assistant) to be a full time passion parties independent consultant. But did i just fall through the rabbit hole? Is it all a fantasy in my mind. Only crazy people make fantasy their reality. right? Those are the people committed to mental hospitals.  Why arent I happy? I should be happy.

My body will get better now. I won't have shingles outbreaks, i won't have shingles nerve pain, maybe the migraines will cease as well. Not so much stress and drama and aggravation!!

My husband thinks he will have to make the car payment and pay all the bills now. So his brain is scrambling to find a way to pay all the bills by himself. Why won't he ever trust my intuition? This IS the right path. This is the path to happiness. This is the path to health and well being. This is the path to prosperity.

My husband Joe is the only one and singular person on the planet that is not behind me, supporting me, cheering me on. hmmm what does that say? Well here is a perfect example. This just happened over the weekend.

• I had the weekend off. He had the weekend off. But I was at home (talking to my sister on the phone at the time) and he was off 4 wheeling, and whatnot. And my sister was trying to encourage me to talk to him and asked if we both have time off and havent seen much of each other b/c of our work schedules. How come we are in separate places. And I said well, i guess you just said it. We are in separate places mentally and physically... So she talked me into getting all cute and one up and going up to the bar where he was at. Not much happened there. Went home around 8:30 and he came home around 30 min. or so later and still nothing happened. whatever... We've had sex like maybe twice in more than a year.

How is it that he can just go through life everyday no human contact, no hugs, no touches, no kisses, no anything! I'm not made that way...

 


Julie Jenks
Passion Parties® Independent Consultant
"Liberating women from the bedroom to the bank"

Phone 307-899-2946
Email: juliejenks@yourpassionconsultant.com
Shop online at http://juliejenks.yourpassionconsultant.com

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Have a DIVAlicious Day!