Apr 30, 2012
My Thought Process:
I'm in the kitchen cleaning up. See that Yoda has a couple of cans of cat food left. So I get upset (because we buried him on 4/20.) - and i toss them in the trash and immediately break down into tears. Remember Joe asking me a few days ago if I want a little black kitten. think -- why would he ask me that. why do i need to expend the energy to love an animal that will just die. And it could end being a bad cat that craps all over the place and meows constantly. which would drive me even more bonkers. and think -- well he is the one that needs an animal to cuddle and love. not me. Too bad he can't give even some of that love to the people around him that need it. next thought -- maybe if he'd gone to counseling with me so many years ago he wouldnt have so many problems. oh well. the counselors said i'd never be anything more than an adornment on his arm and that he doesnt really love me. and that we will never have a real relationship.
Wipe my tears and I go empty my dead rosemary plant from last spring back into the earth from whence it came....
tomorrow is Beltane. And here i sit so sad and so disconnected.
But I feel dead inside instead of happy.
quit my cna job (certified nursing assistant) to be a full time passion parties independent consultant. But did i just fall through the rabbit hole? Is it all a fantasy in my mind. Only crazy people make fantasy their reality. right? Those are the people committed to mental hospitals. Why arent I happy? I should be happy.
My body will get better now. I won't have shingles outbreaks, i won't have shingles nerve pain, maybe the migraines will cease as well. Not so much stress and drama and aggravation!!
My husband thinks he will have to make the car payment and pay all the bills now. So his brain is scrambling to find a way to pay all the bills by himself. Why won't he ever trust my intuition? This IS the right path. This is the path to happiness. This is the path to health and well being. This is the path to prosperity.
My husband Joe is the only one and singular person on the planet that is not behind me, supporting me, cheering me on. hmmm what does that say? Well here is a perfect example. This just happened over the weekend.
• I had the weekend off. He had the weekend off. But I was at home (talking to my sister on the phone at the time) and he was off 4 wheeling, and whatnot. And my sister was trying to encourage me to talk to him and asked if we both have time off and havent seen much of each other b/c of our work schedules. How come we are in separate places. And I said well, i guess you just said it. We are in separate places mentally and physically... So she talked me into getting all cute and one up and going up to the bar where he was at. Not much happened there. Went home around 8:30 and he came home around 30 min. or so later and still nothing happened. whatever... We've had sex like maybe twice in more than a year.
How is it that he can just go through life everyday no human contact, no hugs, no touches, no kisses, no anything! I'm not made that way...
Passion Parties® Independent Consultant
"Liberating women from the bedroom to the bank"
Shop online at http://juliejenks.yourpassionconsultant.com
Tags: Beltane 2012
Apr 28, 2012
What are we suppose to do when we feel defeated? I've lost my lil' buddy. My familiar if you will. Yoda was my little shadow. Followed me everywhere. Even found his way into all of my rituals. He was always in my circles. But now he's gone. Now what do i do? Everything is so lost. I have dreams and an actual plan for the 1st time in my life - at 45 years old. But it is like I'm being held back from it. My husband doesnt see the same vision I do. I'm in so so much physical pain from my CNA job at the nursing home. I want to change careers. But he wants to immediately see $$$ results. Just feels so hopeless. And then at other times I feel so powerful & determined. How do I make it come to light though. I try and nothing comes about. I fail... I know the path to happiness & success is not in nursing.
It is with passion parties. Being an independent consultant. And with my candles, oils etc... I want to someday have an eclectic shop. Or metaphysical shop. Whatever word we attach to it. It is a shop of my own. A unique store for this area. I just want to simply call it Julie's. or Sacred Oaks Alchemy.hmm maybe even the lavender rose lol But it would be mine. And mine alone.
Apr 6, 2012
passion parties independent consultant!! My demonstration kit is ordered & estimated to arrive on Monday April 9th. My business cards & promotional tools are ordered and estimated to arrive next saturday.
I got a few new clothing items today. Yup!! Pink and Purple wooohoo!!!
Buying a new printer tomorrow and the ink cartridges are cheaper for it than the one I have. Plus its a better printer. Does more I think. I will be printing out A LOT of stuff with passion parties.
I just can't emphasize enough how much help there is within this company.
There are consultants sharing their guidelines for lists, coupons, advertisements, brochures, all sorts of things.
It's just really amazing all the help and hints and tips that there is. I've never seen anything like it before. And its not competitive. It's run by women. But its not caddy. They all want the other to succeed and soar as high as they can. It's all about empowerment, feeling good about who you are, about celebrating womanhood and being yourself, and celebrating the body and feeling. Just amazing!
So, i'm going to do a little shameless plug for myself. *giggles*
My name is Julie
I am a Passion Parties Independent Consultant
I am located in Greybull, Wyoming
serving the Worland, Manderson, Basin, Greybull, Lovell, Powell, Cody areas
I also have a store that you can purchase items online if do not live near me.
If you do live near me. Book a party now! Lots of fun and laughter. Who doesnt like to have fun & laugh.
Host a party! Join as a consultant! or Place an order online with me today!
Other links associated with my business
http://facebook.com/JulieSJenks - friend me today
http://facebook.com/PassionPotion - would you consider giving my business page a LIKE. I'm currently trying to reach 30 LIKES.
Stay up to date with me on Twitter