TheSadSickness

I feel so sad today. I tell you, its not easy to put myself out there like this. To reveal my feelings in the open or to anyone else has never been an easy task for me. I am hoping through blogging I will become a better person though...

Have you ever felt so completely all alone? Had failing health and find yourself so alone. Then feeling so empty and sad that there is no one there to help you through it. As I get older, who will help me? Who will be there in the good times as well as the bad times? Who will care for me, or about me? I see so many elderly couples caring for each other. How did they stick it out together? Through all the money troubles, disagreements... Surely they had different opinions through the years? Wanted different things? Or is this just me? Did I want too much? Did I change too much?

Things were easier when I was younger and was happy just sitting on the bed beside my husband as he watched t.v. and I was content just doing word searches... What happened to those days. Why did I grow up and change and become more myself. That should be good thing actually. But now I'm all by myself. My 21st wedding anniversary just passed by. The 19th of June (this month) will be 30 years since our very first date.

Was it all for nothing?? Has the last thirty years of my life just been a complete and utter waste? Maybe my whole entire life has been. Or at least since I hit 15 years old anyway.

Why do I have to be an empath... Why do I have to be a virgo... Think too much. Feel too much.

Maybe I should research some of the dark goddesses. Celtic goddess of despair,chaos,sadness??...

Blessed Be

TPE-W-isforwheat

The Pagan Experience ~ June 13 2016-Week 2
The Letter W

The first thing that came to mind when I thought of "W" that I know enough about to blog on is WHEAT! But where do I begin? I don't want this to be a rant. I will start by saying that I am gluten free. I live an entirely gluten free lifestyle. I do not do this a new trendy diet. My body forced me to become gluten free. Before I found out what I needed to do, and what was going on with my body. I lost 40 lbs do to being so sick. I had no idea what gluten was when my doctor said to drop all grains from my diet. So I just ate scrambled eggs for the first couple of months.

But lets get away from me. Becoming gluten free was not easy. And I also have wrestled with the fact that pretty much all pagan rituals have cake or bread as a part of the ritual. So my practice has taken a dive over the past few years. Now there are a lot more gluten free items available...

Yes, I suppose I could have substituted something else in the place of the cakes and breads. But I didn't feel right with that. For me, the point of being pagan is a connection to the olde ways, ancient times.

I've learned a lot about wheat over the past 4 years. Did you know that is other countries disorders and diseases are significantly lower than in the United States. Things like depression, bipolar, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, schizophrenia, and autism. Gluten is blamed for this.

The wheat that we consume today is not the same as the wheat at the turn of the century. It is over processed. It has been manipulated by scientists to grow faster and stronger to stand up to weather. Perhaps that is why there are so many people getting sick from it. Although gluten is not just wheat. It is actually a protein in wheat, rye and barley. Oh but no. It does not end there. It is not just that simple. Soy is the biggest cross contaminate because it is processed in the same plant as wheat. Same goes for nuts. Many many things are all processed in the same plants so there is a risk of cross contamination from other products. Also, it has been found that many people who are gluten sensitive (its not an allergy) are also sensitive to dairy. Yes. It just keeps getting better doesn't it. hahaha!

Take notice of how you feel after eating those flour tacos, cookies, cake, donuts, brownies, breaded meats, french fries, shakes... Yes I said french fries and shakes. Wheat is very often used as a filler in things like milk shakes at fast food restaurants. Frozen meats (like those yummy meat balls) have a wheat filler. Those french fries we love to get a quick snack. Yes, well they are fried in the same fryer as the breaded and battered meats. What is in the breading? hmmm yeah wheat. Look at your snacks. That yummy red licorice. Yes that too.

If your getting any random and sudden symptoms such as: headaches, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, bloating, after eating gluten. You could have a gluten sensitivity. A good way of finding out is to remove all grains from your diet. If you feel better. BINGO! You get to change your diet and feel better. :)

I live a gluten free life. By that I mean I check the ingredients in everything that goes in or on my body. Shampoo, lotion, hair color, conditioner, all food products, make up... I do occassionally cheat slightly. But I pay the price for it. So right now I'm trying to fly straight.

UDI is a great gluten free company. The food can be ordered online. It is great. The breads and cookie and cake mixes are excellent. Often gluten free sweets are grainy and dry. Thats how they started out anyway. UDI makes it so that I can eat some of my favorites again. And so has Betty Crocker!! BEST brownie mix ever!!!

RainCure

Today I got out of my dreary apartment. I went to visit my daughter and grandkids to see their new house they are moving into. Very nice and very very big! On the way home it rained, and thundered and lightening! I loved it. Lifted my spirits!!! Took a couple of pics. They aren't the greatest pics in the world. The feeling of the storm was though! For some reason storms always clear out my foggy head. Lifts my depression...

And look what is popping up!!

Vanilla Ice Daisies

Moon Flower (blooms at night)

TPE-ToKnow

The Pagan Experience - Writing Prompts for June week 2 - 'To Know'

The Witches Pyramid: To Know • To Will • To Dare • To Keep Silent •

To me 'To Know' is powerful in my magickal life. Although it can have several different meanings for me. To know - To know your craft. To know what you want. To hold ritual I need to be clear on what I want. I have to know my goal. Knowing can come from learning. From educating myself on my craft. And there is the knowing that is intuition. That feeling you get and 'just know' something without being told. 

To Know has to do with knowing myself and knowing my craft, my path. What I want. The work that I do in my magickal life transfers over to my mundane life. 

It's not always an easy task for me -- To Know. Because I am an empath or maybe because I'm a Virgo *ha ha ha* I see things in so many different ways. 

I can know what I want. But also feel heartbroken about it as well.  Now this has to do purely with my mundane life.  I have been separated from my husband for the past six months and living on my own for the first time in nearly 30 years. Now with the passing of our recent or rather what would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. It feels like the past 30 years have been a complete and utter waste of time. I feel like I've wasted 30 years!...  But again back to - To Know. I know deep down that even though I feel so much sadness right now, that I will make it through. I've made it the past six months. I just have to keep moving forward. If I've learned anything in Paganism in the last 5 years it is that we are in a constant state of movement. We are never still. We are either moving forward or backwards. And that it is very often much easier to go backwards rather than forward. So I'm just concentrating my energy on forward. Go backwards does not make any sense at all... Onward and upward! :) 

** This is my first 'The Pagan Experience 2016' posting.*...

Mercury Retrograde-Not Today!

Planet Mercury goes retrograde October 4-25 2014. This is when the planet of Mercury appears to be moving backwards around the Sun. Making everything seem more difficult. Difficulties with digital and electronic devices, relationships, communication, travel…

Being a Virgo it feels awful for me. Virgo’s ruling planet is Mercury. Mercury is associated with communication, emotions, intellect, travel, transportation,short trips, air.

I don’t feel like doing anything. When I do, it seems like it doesn’t turn out well.

October Mercury Retrograde began on October 4th 2014. I hit a deer the very next morning on the way to work. *lol* At the time I didn’t know we were in Mercury Retrograde again already. I actually did not look at my witch calendar until a few days later. After thing after thing after thing seemed to be going badly.

The graphic below has an old date on it. Maybe from last year. But it still helps educate us on what is happening during a Mercury Retrograde.

 

I really like this little graphic. It really made me stop and think today. After I hit that deer. (The 2nd one in four months mind you). I was asking myself what is the Universe telling me? What message am I suppose to be getting from this? Today I saw this Mercury Retrograde graphic.
Reconsider. Repair. Reflect. Reconnect. WELL. That certainly speaks volumes! I didn’t even know what the word retrograde meant. NOW it all makes perfect sense.

I’m on my way to a job that makes me feel down, unappreciated, that they think I’m a machine, a robot, unhuman. Just an object that can not think for itself and just does what its told to do.
Very underpaid for the amount of physical, mental and emotional stress and strain C.N.A.s endure every day. I have not been a very spiritual being lately. I do not feel very connected to nature lately. I am so exhausted I barely feel alive anymore at all! I feel very out of sorts, disconnected, out of balance and unaligned. Hmmm… Retrograde… Reconsider? – Reconsider – where am I going. Is it someplace I want to be going? No. 
Repair? What do I need to repair. Myself. My spirit. My wellbeing.
Reflect? What do I reflect on at the end of the day? Is it something positive that happened throughout my day? No. How can I change that? – Reconnect!

Reconnect with a higher spiritual being. Reconnect with nature. Reconnect through meditation and ritual. Reconnect by reading, learning, doing…

Witch's Pyramid:
To Know, To Will, To Dare, To Keep Secret.
Copied from PaganWiccanAbout.com

The phrase refers to four important reminders about the practice of Wicca. Although the interpretations may vary, in general, you can follow these explanations as beginning guidelines:

To Know refers to the idea that the spiritual journey is one of knowledge -- and that knowledge is never-ending. If we are indeed "to know," then we must constantly be learning, questioning, and expanding our horizons. Also, we must know ourselves before we can know our true paths.

To Dare can be interpreted as to have the courage we need to grow. By daring ourselves to step out of our comfort zone, to be something that people see as "other," we are in fact fulfilling our own need "to dare." We are facing that which is unknown, moving into a realm that is far outside what we're used to.

To Will means to have determination and perseverance. Nothing of any value comes with ease, and spiritual growth is no exception. Want to be a competent practitioner of magic? Then you better study, and work at it. If you make the choice to evolve and grow spiritually, then you will be able to do so -- but it is, in fact, a choice we make. Our will guides us, and will lead us to success. Without it, we are stagnant.

To Keep Silent seems like it should be an obvious one, but it's a bit more complex than it appears on the surface. To be certain, "keeping silent" means that we need to make sure we never out other members of the Pagan community without their permission, and to some extent, it means we need to keep our practices private. However, it also means that we need to learn the value of inner silence. It is a rare person indeed who recognizes that sometimes the unspoken is more important than the words we utter.

TODAY I woke up and decided to be productive in my business. And things have been going great today. I am a new Younique Presenter. I started reading through some files this morning and found an interesting Daily Routines List. I followed it. I actually got through the first actions! Wooohooo!!! So proud of myself!!  
Stop by my online party I have open right now… https://www.youniqueproducts.com/JulieJenks/party/688875/

Instagram || Facebook || Pinterest ||

WhereverMyPathTakesMe

What we want, is not always the same as what we need...

I am happy to move forward and that new and exciting opportunities have come my way. I am now a qualified Younique Presenter!  I have struggled with the thought of leaving Passion Parties. It was heart breaking to me to give up. But now new opportunities have come to me that make it not 'as' sad. And I don't feel like I failed or that I'm quitting. My time with Passion Parties was a huge personal growth experience. It brought me closer to my sister Jenny and enabled us to be a big part of one another's lives, like never before.

But it feels as though it is time for me to expand. To experience other new things... 

I am looking for people ready to own their own business or make some extra cash. If you are ready for an inspiring experience contact me today :)
I am also looking for others in the same field to network with.
http://facebook.com/JulieSJenks

Did you know Younique is 100% social media based! YES! Having your Younique party is SO easy. You get to play on facebook and earn awesome goodies! 

moodstruckminerals@gmail.com

https://facebook.com/JulieSJenks

My Younique Party

The Younique bug has bitten me!! My daughter became a Younique Presenter. And I have tried my first Younique make up and 3D Fiber Lashes Mascara. And I LOVE IT!!!

I have a party going on right now that will be open until September 11th.
I'd love for you to come.
https://www.youniqueproducts.com/NicoleHanlin/party/507043/view

There is also a facebook closed group to participate in all the fun and games going on, earn prizes. And learn all about the products.

Check out the difference!

Excited about receiving my Younique 3D Fiber Lashes Mascara!!

My before pic. No makeup

Younique is all natural mineral makeup. Gluten Free, Paraben Free. Not tested on animals!
I've never worn natural makeup before. I was very surprised and impressed.
I also bought the Glorious Primer. Which is a primer for under your make up. OMG! Feels like velvet!
I'm hooked!! I hope my party is a hit so I can earn rewards to buy more goodies.

The eye pigments (eye shadow) can be used so many different ways. It can be used wet or dry. It can be added to hair as a temporary hair color streaks, added to fingernail polish to create a new color, or added to your fingernail to create a soft glittered or ombre style. It can be applied to lips as a lip color. So it is possible to create a completely matched look with my eyes and lips! Wooohoo!!!

The lip liner. Well it doesnt smear off on your glass or cup! 

Absinthe-LaFeeVerte

I am so excited!! Ever since I learned about Absinthe 3 years ago, I have wanted to experience it. It is from the 1900's. It is very potent. Made with herbs and Vodka (no less than 100 proof). It is outlawed in the United States. It originates from France. Nick named the Green Fairy. La Fee Verte means The Green Fairy. 

So my obsession and curiosity with Absinthe is in full swing with all my Absinthe tools ordered from e-bay. I love my glasses and can not wait to hold one in my hand! 

                          Authentic La Rochere Pontarlier Absinthe Glass
La Rochere Pontarlier Absinthe glasses have a  reservoir to measure the proper amount of Absinthe to pour in.

Absinthe Spoon and Sugar Cubes

I've downloaded some beautiful pictures too.

Finding Magick in Everyday

Finding the magick in each day may not always be an easy task. But is something worth looking for. Sometimes I miss the simple signs.  Do you ever do that? Get caught up in the everyday stresses and complications. It can be as easy as enjoying the sound and scent of a fresh rain. Watching a bird.

For the past week or so on my way to work. (It’s dark – 5:00 a.m.) A light – towards the East keeps catching my eye. A bright star and a smaller star. It’s been puzzling me. Are they always there and I don’t notice. Are they new? Is it a planet or something? Aliens?… Have I been watching a little too much Ancient Aliens?

Then today I was looking at my sky map iphone app searching for where Moon is located at the moment. Odd…  There are two planets just above our waning moon. Jupiter. Which looks like it is very large, compared to the planet Venus to the left of it.  Right where I’ve been seeing those stars!

Are we always able to see certain planets with the naked eye? I would not think so. Otherwise what use would there be for telescopes… It is all so fascinating and mysterious to me.

http://www.space.com/16149-night-sky.html

Interesting! Planets ARE visible during certain times… I love it!

THRIVE 8 Week Experience

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Julie

PaganBlogPrompt-OisforOldReligion

Old Religion

Religion, rites, ceremonies, are themselves as old as time. Even as a child I was drawn to a much older time than what I lived in. Pictures in my head of a woman sweeping her cobblestone side walk in front of her cottage. Windows made of unpainted unfinished wood. Wooden shelves with all kinds of plants, and bottles among them...

Old Religion. I feel very comfortable with those words. Lets go to church. Not so much. I've never felt like I have to be in a building following along with what someone else is telling me to do and doing the same thing that everyone else in the room is doing. That felt uncomfortable. Not real. Not natural.

Old Religion comes from many places and times in our ancient past. Whether I'm going to be referring to Celtic traditions which can then branch off into many other traditions of Faery Faith, Tuatha De Danann, Druids, Shamanism. Or if we are talking about Egyptian, Hindu, or Native American. These are all old religions. You just have to find the path that speaks to you.

I don't believe in blood offerings. And I do not believe in a single parent God or Goddess. I do not believe that we should be controlled by religious fear or that there is a dark demon waiting until we die to punish us. I believe in sacred promises, physical natural offerings such as flowers, milk, honey, seeds. I believe in many Gods and Goddesses. I believe in Karma. That the Universe gives you what you put out there. 

In most of the old religions there are rituals dedicated to the Gods and Goddesses for things that we want, don't want. Things we want to change. Crops to grow. Decisions to be made. Wars to be fought. And for peace within ourselves. I see old religion as a simpler purer time in our history. Burning incense created with some sage, frankincense, myrrh, rosemary, dragonsblood, amber, patchouli, whatever was available in their region locally. Light a candle, send your words up to the God and Goddess.

This is what attracts me to Paganism so much, is the fluidity of it all. How I feel when I light that incense I have mixed and created myself, and speak from my heart and soul. Touching and smelling elements that have been of the earth for so many thousands of years. Still being able to tap into that old ancient time...

   

ExcuseTheMess

:)
My blog is currently under a bit of construction. Please excuse the mess and empty boxes. They will all be back ...

PostitTuesdays-HomemadeRepellant

                               

I have never made my own insect repellent. I've never even used anything like that before. Because every living creature has a purpose. Right!?

But I have put too much hard work and love and caring into my plants for the grasshoppers to just come and eat them all up! My sunflowers are going down fast. And they have not even gotten to bloom yet. So, I searched on the internet of a 'natural' repellent. I found recipes containing garlic and onion and molasses. None of which I happened to have on hand that day. But for some reason I checked the ingredients of worchestire sauce. (thank you Goddess for that nudge) And worchestire sauce contains molasses, garlic, and onion!

 Worked like a charm!!! Try to eat my sunflowers! I do not think so!...