Just thinking out loud...

My Thought Process:
I'm in the kitchen cleaning up. See that Yoda has a couple of cans of cat food left. So I get upset (because we buried him on 4/20.) - and i toss them in the trash and immediately break down into tears. Remember Joe asking me a few days ago if I want a little black kitten. think -- why would he ask me that. why do i need to expend the energy to love an animal that will just die. And it could end being a bad cat that craps all over the place and meows constantly. which would drive me even more bonkers. and think -- well he is the one that needs an animal to cuddle and love. not me. Too bad he can't give even some of that love to the people around him that need it. next thought -- maybe if he'd gone to counseling with me so many years ago he wouldnt have so many problems. oh well. the counselors said i'd never be anything more than an adornment on his arm and that he doesnt really love me. and that we will never have a real relationship.

Wipe my tears and I go empty my dead rosemary plant from last spring back into the earth from whence it came....

 

http://thomaskinkade.com

Above painting in memory of my beloved Thomas Kinkade whom always painted his cottages, churches, etc.. with at least one light on. He was what was called back in the early 80's a 'latch-key kid'. Which meant when he came home his parents were at work. He came home to a dark house after school. So he painted with brilliant light in all of his paintings and there is always a light on. We love you more than you can know Mr. Kinkade ~ Peace Love and Light be yours infinately

Beltane 2012

tomorrow is Beltane. And here i sit so sad and so disconnected.

 Beltane is the joining of the Lord and the Lady. The earth opening up and life being renewed.
But I feel dead inside instead of happy.

quit my cna job (certified nursing assistant) to be a full time passion parties independent consultant. But did i just fall through the rabbit hole? Is it all a fantasy in my mind. Only crazy people make fantasy their reality. right? Those are the people committed to mental hospitals.  Why arent I happy? I should be happy.

My body will get better now. I won't have shingles outbreaks, i won't have shingles nerve pain, maybe the migraines will cease as well. Not so much stress and drama and aggravation!!

My husband thinks he will have to make the car payment and pay all the bills now. So his brain is scrambling to find a way to pay all the bills by himself. Why won't he ever trust my intuition? This IS the right path. This is the path to happiness. This is the path to health and well being. This is the path to prosperity.

My husband Joe is the only one and singular person on the planet that is not behind me, supporting me, cheering me on. hmmm what does that say? Well here is a perfect example. This just happened over the weekend.

• I had the weekend off. He had the weekend off. But I was at home (talking to my sister on the phone at the time) and he was off 4 wheeling, and whatnot. And my sister was trying to encourage me to talk to him and asked if we both have time off and havent seen much of each other b/c of our work schedules. How come we are in separate places. And I said well, i guess you just said it. We are in separate places mentally and physically... So she talked me into getting all cute and one up and going up to the bar where he was at. Not much happened there. Went home around 8:30 and he came home around 30 min. or so later and still nothing happened. whatever... We've had sex like maybe twice in more than a year.

How is it that he can just go through life everyday no human contact, no hugs, no touches, no kisses, no anything! I'm not made that way...

 


Julie Jenks
Passion Parties® Independent Consultant
"Liberating women from the bedroom to the bank"

Phone 307-899-2946
Email: juliejenks@yourpassionconsultant.com
Shop online at http://juliejenks.yourpassionconsultant.com

http://facebook.com/PassionPotion

 

 

 

Have a DIVAlicious Day!

Defeated?

What are we suppose to do when we feel defeated? I've lost my lil' buddy. My familiar if you will. Yoda was my little shadow. Followed me everywhere. Even found his way into all of my rituals. He was always in my circles. But now he's gone. Now what do i do? Everything is so lost. I have dreams and an actual plan for the 1st time in my life - at 45 years old. But it is like I'm being held back from it. My husband doesnt see the same vision I do. I'm in so so much physical pain from my CNA job at the nursing home. I want to change careers. But he wants to immediately see $$$ results. Just feels so hopeless. And then at other times I feel so powerful & determined. How do I make it come to light though. I try and nothing comes about. I fail... I know the path to happiness & success is not in nursing. 

It is with passion parties. Being an independent consultant. And with my candles, oils etc... I want to someday have an eclectic shop. Or metaphysical shop. Whatever word we attach to it. It is a shop of my own. A unique store for this area. I just want to simply call it Julie's. or Sacred Oaks Alchemy.hmm maybe even the lavender rose lol But it would be mine. And mine alone.

http://juliejenks.yourpassionconsultant.com

 

Passion Parties!

 

Well, I'm almost on my way to getting started in my new career as a
passion parties independent consultant!! My demonstration kit is ordered & estimated to arrive on Monday April 9th. My business cards & promotional tools are ordered and estimated to arrive next saturday.
I got a few new clothing items today. Yup!! Pink and Purple wooohoo!!!

Buying a new printer tomorrow and the ink cartridges are cheaper for it than the one I have. Plus its a better printer. Does more I think. I will be printing out A LOT of stuff with passion parties.

I just can't emphasize enough how much help there is within this company.
There are consultants sharing their guidelines for lists, coupons, advertisements, brochures, all sorts of things.
It's just really amazing all the help and hints and tips that there is. I've never seen anything like it before. And its not competitive. It's run by women. But its not caddy. They all want the other to succeed and soar as high as they can. It's all about empowerment, feeling good about who you are, about celebrating womanhood and being yourself, and celebrating the body and feeling. Just amazing!

So, i'm going to do a little shameless plug for myself. *giggles*

My name is Julie
I am a Passion Parties Independent Consultant
I am located in Greybull, Wyoming
serving the Worland, Manderson, Basin, Greybull, Lovell, Powell, Cody areas
of Wyoming.
I also have a store that you can purchase items online if do not live near me.
http://juliejenks.yourpassionconsultant.com
If you do live near me. Book a party now! Lots of fun and laughter. Who doesnt like to have fun & laugh.

Host a party! Join as a consultant! or Place an order online with me today!

Other links associated with my business
http://facebook.com/JulieSJenks - friend me today
http://facebook.com/PassionPotion - would you consider giving my business page a LIKE. I'm currently trying to reach 30 LIKES.
Stay up to date with me on Twitter

Back to Work...

It's back to work for me tomorrow. I'm on for 3 days. Sat,Sun,Monday. My 1st time at this job of working 3 days in a row. I'm SO exhausted after just one. Not looking forward to going back. I'm always down and moody the day before I have to go back. Can not stand it there. Every bit of body repels going there. I dread it. My body dreads it. It's not where I belong. I want to be learning about passion parties. I want to be making more money. I want to be getting signed up to go to school. Maybe its just as well I'm not signing up for school. I don't even know what will happen to any of us or happen planet-wise on winter solstice morning at sunrise December 21st. Surely something is going to happen. Scientists say the polar caps will reverse. Warmer places on the planet will be opposite of what they are right now...

At least I've had a really really good 3 days off. I talked to my sister about joining passion parties. And she is so excited I'm joining her team. So, my sister Jenny & I have had some really good talks.  I even got outside 2 days in a row doing some yard work! *lol* We got the front yard raked with the help of my daughter's boyfriend also *lol*

And I'm getting my bedroom back into shape and ready for things. Thats where my altar and all my magickal supplies are...

Julie

Candle - Spring-Beltane-Sacred Space...

Rhiannon Queen of the Fey Candle

This candle can be purchased from me for $12.00 Perfect for spring, Beltane, a wedding or birthday gift for that special someone. Or to scent your own home or sacred space

This is the only one I have at the moment.

I will also be listing it on an auction where my candles sell for higher prices. So if you want it.

Act fast!
justjulie@bresnan.net paypal email to use to purchase my candle
let me know the name of the product you are purchasing please :)

~ Rhiannon - Queen of the Fey Candle ~

Lavender in color. Softly scented with lavender essential oil & madagascar vanilla.
with dried lavender, rosemary, and red roses for luck, love, and peace.

Dressed with hemp string and sage green organza ribbon. Embellished with a pentagram. Purple, pink and bright green glitter glisten on top...

 

 

 

Bee Polished: Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge: Jelly Sandwich

 I'm wanting to go to school for cosmetology & nail technician. And I also want to pick up a body piercing license and have a shop of my own where I perform these services, and sell my hand made products.
This is a set of nail that I just loooooove! Take a looksee ;)


Bee Polished: Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge: Jelly Sandwich: It's Friday!! So you know what that means! Time for another Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge! This weeks challenge was chosen by Emma, and ...

PBP-PaganBlogPrompt - Ostara|Spring Equinox

Pagan Blog Prompts - Ostara/Spring Equinox.
( Feel free to blog about what you've done to celebrate (whether this year or a previous year), what it means to you, the history or certain symbols seen around this time of year, or anything else related to the holiday/season.)

Ostara marks a time of change. When the earth is coming back to life. It is a good time to spring clean. To me it is a time to make changes in my life. Breathe new life into myself. In a sense to be reborn. To hatch from my shell, and burst into the world. I am indeed doing just that. I am a C.N.A. I have been one for almost 6 years. I was very happy and content. But something in me has changed. I'm not at all on the right path. I more than dread going to work. My heart is not in it. I want a new career.  So, I've decided to join my sisters Passion Parties team! http://mypassionprops.com  I have not yet had an Ostara ritual. But I do want to.  I just havent put one together.

I'm so exhausted from my job all the time. I'm SOOOOO excited about my new zest for life and love and happiness and new beginnings though! And I think I've even come up with an idea of how to get the money to pay for my starter kit for my new career in enhancing and empowering life and love. I've talked it over with my husband. He asked quite a few questions. Which I was quite proud of myself that I actually did have the answers for, because I've been thinking about this for a little while now. And have been looking at my sisters website and reading up on the company and products and what Passion Parties is really all about.

I feel ready to make a change. I don't feel nervous, scared or unsure. I'm positive that I want out of nursing. I am positive that I want to keep going with my home crafted items at home and develop that into a real physical shop. And I'm positive that I still want to go to cosmetology and nail tech training and eventually pick up a body piercing license as well. I want to have an earthy eclectic shop in town. And I want to sell passion and enhance the lives of people that I would not have otherwise met. I see grand potential for all of it. I see myself with a shop with living, breathing, growing plants. My home crafted candles, oils, a hair salon area, a relaxation/aromatherapy chill out room with soothing sounds of a babbling brook, magickal brew loose natural incense softly swooning through the air, hand made soaps, incense, bed n' bath sachets... all those items that I hand craft at home. And a body piercing booth. And a nail tech area, a pedicure area. People don't realize how important their feet and toes are! Gotta take care of them!

Maybe in a sense I don't feel the need for an all out ritual. Because I'm already taking steps in my life to change and enchance my path.

Book Addicted?

Any such thing as being addicted to books? ... What do you think?

 

Perhaps its hereditary from my dad. And that when I'm interested in learning about something, I totally immerse myself in it. Finding out all I can, from all different sources...

I haven't even read all the books I bought last spring, but yet I still want more!!

Whats so funny is that I was never big on reading books before I started on this magickal path last spring. Yes I know HOW to read. But just never found reading interesting. But now! - Legends of ancient lore and practices of the old world, the dark ages, the universe, the trees, the healing properties of plants, flowers, herbs, oils, aromatherapy, alchemy. I mean who would have ever thought that I would be interested in science! chemistry! history!

Who would have ever thought I'd actually enjoy planning, or following an outline of practice.
Funny funny world we live in.

Pagan Blog Project - F is for Familiar

F is for Familiar. As in the witches familiar. I know that a witches companion is suppose to be a cat. But I didn't start out as a 'cat person'. I didn't grow up with cats. There weren't cats around in the neighborhood really. My family was all about dogs. I was brought up around dogs. No one in my family had cats. etc...

But this cat that we have just insisted on me loving him. He's everything I need in a cat. He is quiet. He follows me everywhere so that I am never lonely. He is sweet, cute, and cuddly. His name is Yoda. But we mostly call him mo mo. I have no idea why. He is a beautiful long haired himalayian simease. He is about 11 years old. And when he passes on to the summerland I will be most broken hearted.

He loves all of my herbs. He loves smelling them all when they arrive in the mail. He is the 1st to run up to me as my car pulls into the driveway. He is the 1st to greet me as soon as he hears my feet touch the floor. He is always in my bedroom with me, near my side.

Much to my surprise he  was determined and quite comfortable right by my side inside my magickal circle during rituals too.

He knows when I'm down. He cuddles with me even more! If I leave a room. He leaves the room to see where I've gone. I have never known why. Because as I said I was never really a cat person...

Except for a while when I 1st moved out on my own. I rescued a homeless kitten. And from then on I was always taking in cats, adopting free cats & kittens out of the newspaper. But then when I moved to california I must have changed I guess. I didn't have cats anymore. But ended up meeting my husband who was a huge cat lover. And all of his cats hated me! The terrorized me. And there began my dislike for cats. The tore up all of my plants, tore up my house and broke my possessions.

I'm glad I've come back to loving a cat again though. He's really precious & special.




Meet Yoda!

He thinks my fuzzy wolf blanket is his for some reason...

here is my mozie mo mo tossing a piece of light blue paper in the
air and trying to catch it as it flutters down to the window cill.

Yoda near my garden. Could have choked him last year for scattering
my flower seeds!

Yoda making sure we put in the new vinyl windows correctly

YoYo all cozy in mommys bed

Awwwe! Yoda's a cat-in-the-box

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Another blog following site I came across!

Bee Polished: Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge: Jelly Sandwich

Bee Polished: Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge: Jelly Sandwich: It's Friday!! So you know what that means! Time for another Purple Crumpet Fairy Challenge! This weeks challenge was chosen by Emma, and ...

Pagan BlogPromts-Sickness

Pagan Blog Promts - http://paganprompts.blogspot.com/

How do you deal with illness?

Does being sick hinder your magic work?

Do you employ magic to make yourself healthy again?

What about others? Do you work magic to heal other people?

I do not deal well with illness. As I'm sure non of us do. I probably perform more magickal rituals when I am sick. I do a lot of bath rituals with rosemary essential oil, prayers, chants, and candle and color magick. I believe that all of it has power and energy. I would like to make a wellness sachet sometime. But never do seem to get around to it or even think of it when I'm well.

I also get have neuropathy suffer from long term nerve damage from shingles. So under great stress I start getting nerve pain in certain areas. Mainly my face, foot and leg. Usually all on the right side. So I try to manage my stress and wellness everyday. It's not an easy thing to do. I have to always be aware of it. All it takes is one hysterical cry and i'm the one suffering. Usually brought on by stress at work. I've been going through this for the last 3 years. It is much much better now. It's not constant anymore. And I don't have outbreaks of shingles. I havent for nearly a year now. And I think that my journey, my new path that I've been on has everything to do with that. That is when I stopped having outbreaks and started feeling wonderful & happy again. I am starting to feel the stress again in my nerves though. And feel it is time for me to leave nursing and journey farther on down the path to my true dreams. Which is to be a cosmetologist. I also am interesting in nail tech and picking up a body piercing license as well. And one day having my own unique shop.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If you can feel it - you can say it.
If you can say it - you can achieve it...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ WiccanMoon ~