Jul 7, 2016


The Color Black

This morning I woke up thinking of the color black. I love black! I've always had black t-shirts and sweaters. To me black doesn't feel negative, or depressing like some people think it to be.  After stepping onto my true path and learning about wicca & paganism I learned that black is actually a color of protection. I had always felt safe and comfortable wearing it. No wonder!

Black is the color of the Universe. In the color spectrum black is the combination of all colors, as white at the opposite end of the color spectrum is the absence of color. So if all colors come together as one to create black how could it be a color of evil. People who think that the color black signifies evil, devil worship, and the like could be uneducated on what colors actually represent.

The color black has many many symbolic meanings. Protection, defense, banish negativity, ridding yourself of bad habits, mystery, secret, meditation, Saturday, Saturn, freedom, farming, overcoming obstacles and much much more... Witchipedia has excellent color info!!

What are your thoughts on the color black??
Blessings )0(

Jun 15, 2016


I feel so sad today. I tell you, its not easy to put myself out there like this. To reveal my feelings in the open or to anyone else has never been an easy task for me. I am hoping through blogging I will become a better person though...

Have you ever felt so completely all alone? Had failing health and find yourself so alone. Then feeling so empty and sad that there is no one there to help you through it. As I get older, who will help me? Who will be there in the good times as well as the bad times? Who will care for me, or about me? I see so many elderly couples caring for each other. How did they stick it out together? Through all the money troubles, disagreements... Surely they had different opinions through the years? Wanted different things? Or is this just me? Did I want too much? Did I change too much?

Things were easier when I was younger and was happy just sitting on the bed beside my husband as he watched t.v. and I was content just doing word searches... What happened to those days. Why did I grow up and change and become more myself. That should be good thing actually. But now I'm all by myself. My 21st wedding anniversary just passed by. The 19th of June (this month) will be 30 years since our very first date.

Was it all for nothing?? Has the last thirty years of my life just been a complete and utter waste? Maybe my whole entire life has been. Or at least since I hit 15 years old anyway.

Why do I have to be an empath... Why do I have to be a virgo... Think too much. Feel too much.

Maybe I should research some of the dark goddesses. Celtic goddess of despair,chaos,sadness??...

Blessed Be

Jun 13, 2016


The Pagan Experience ~ June 13 2016-Week 2
The Letter W

The first thing that came to mind when I thought of "W" that I know enough about to blog on is WHEAT! But where do I begin? I don't want this to be a rant. I will start by saying that I am gluten free. I live an entirely gluten free lifestyle. I do not do this a new trendy diet. My body forced me to become gluten free. Before I found out what I needed to do, and what was going on with my body. I lost 40 lbs do to being so sick. I had no idea what gluten was when my doctor said to drop all grains from my diet. So I just ate scrambled eggs for the first couple of months.

But lets get away from me. Becoming gluten free was not easy. And I also have wrestled with the fact that pretty much all pagan rituals have cake or bread as a part of the ritual. So my practice has taken a dive over the past few years. Now there are a lot more gluten free items available...

Yes, I suppose I could have substituted something else in the place of the cakes and breads. But I didn't feel right with that. For me, the point of being pagan is a connection to the olde ways, ancient times.

I've learned a lot about wheat over the past 4 years. Did you know that is other countries disorders and diseases are significantly lower than in the United States. Things like depression, bipolar, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, schizophrenia, and autism. Gluten is blamed for this.

The wheat that we consume today is not the same as the wheat at the turn of the century. It is over processed. It has been manipulated by scientists to grow faster and stronger to stand up to weather. Perhaps that is why there are so many people getting sick from it. Although gluten is not just wheat. It is actually a protein in wheat, rye and barley. Oh but no. It does not end there. It is not just that simple. Soy is the biggest cross contaminate because it is processed in the same plant as wheat. Same goes for nuts. Many many things are all processed in the same plants so there is a risk of cross contamination from other products. Also, it has been found that many people who are gluten sensitive (its not an allergy) are also sensitive to dairy. Yes. It just keeps getting better doesn't it. hahaha!

Take notice of how you feel after eating those flour tacos, cookies, cake, donuts, brownies, breaded meats, french fries, shakes... Yes I said french fries and shakes. Wheat is very often used as a filler in things like milk shakes at fast food restaurants. Frozen meats (like those yummy meat balls) have a wheat filler. Those french fries we love to get a quick snack. Yes, well they are fried in the same fryer as the breaded and battered meats. What is in the breading? hmmm yeah wheat. Look at your snacks. That yummy red licorice. Yes that too.

If your getting any random and sudden symptoms such as: headaches, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, bloating, after eating gluten. You could have a gluten sensitivity. A good way of finding out is to remove all grains from your diet. If you feel better. BINGO! You get to change your diet and feel better. :)

I live a gluten free life. By that I mean I check the ingredients in everything that goes in or on my body. Shampoo, lotion, hair color, conditioner, all food products, make up... I do occassionally cheat slightly. But I pay the price for it. So right now I'm trying to fly straight.

UDI is a great gluten free company. The food can be ordered online. It is great. The breads and cookie and cake mixes are excellent. Often gluten free sweets are grainy and dry. Thats how they started out anyway. UDI makes it so that I can eat some of my favorites again. And so has Betty Crocker!! BEST brownie mix ever!!!


Today I got out of my dreary apartment. I went to visit my daughter and grandkids to see their new house they are moving into. Very nice and very very big! On the way home it rained, and thundered and lightening! I loved it. Lifted my spirits!!! Took a couple of pics. They aren't the greatest pics in the world. The feeling of the storm was though! For some reason storms always clear out my foggy head. Lifts my depression...

And look what is popping up!!
Vanilla Ice Daisies

Moon Flower (blooms at night)

Jun 12, 2016


The Pagan Experience - Writing Prompts for June week 2 - 'To Know'

The Witches Pyramid: To Know • To Will • To Dare • To Keep Silent •

To me 'To Know' is powerful in my magickal life. Although it can have several different meanings for me. To know - To know your craft. To know what you want. To hold ritual I need to be clear on what I want. I have to know my goal. Knowing can come from learning. From educating myself on my craft. And there is the knowing that is intuition. That feeling you get and 'just know' something without being told. 

To Know has to do with knowing myself and knowing my craft, my path. What I want. The work that I do in my magickal life transfers over to my mundane life. 
It's not always an easy task for me -- To Know. Because I am an empath or maybe because I'm a Virgo *ha ha ha* I see things in so many different ways. 

I can know what I want. But also feel heartbroken about it as well.  Now this has to do purely with my mundane life.  I have been separated from my husband for the past six months and living on my own for the first time in nearly 30 years. Now with the passing of our recent or rather what would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. It feels like the past 30 years have been a complete and utter waste of time. I feel like I've wasted 30 years!...  But again back to - To Know. I know deep down that even though I feel so much sadness right now, that I will make it through. I've made it the past six months. I just have to keep moving forward. If I've learned anything in Paganism in the last 5 years it is that we are in a constant state of movement. We are never still. We are either moving forward or backwards. And that it is very often much easier to go backwards rather than forward. So I'm just concentrating my energy on forward. Go backwards does not make any sense at all... Onward and upward! :) 

** This is my first 'The Pagan Experience 2016' posting.*...

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