Jun 15, 2016

TheSadSickness


I feel so sad today. I tell you, its not easy to put myself out there like this. To reveal my feelings in the open or to anyone else has never been an easy task for me. I am hoping through blogging I will become a better person though...

Have you ever felt so completely all alone? Had failing health and find yourself so alone. Then feeling so empty and sad that there is no one there to help you through it. As I get older, who will help me? Who will be there in the good times as well as the bad times? Who will care for me, or about me? I see so many elderly couples caring for each other. How did they stick it out together? Through all the money troubles, disagreements... Surely they had different opinions through the years? Wanted different things? Or is this just me? Did I want too much? Did I change too much?

Things were easier when I was younger and was happy just sitting on the bed beside my husband as he watched t.v. and I was content just doing word searches... What happened to those days. Why did I grow up and change and become more myself. That should be good thing actually. But now I'm all by myself. My 21st wedding anniversary just passed by. The 19th of June (this month) will be 30 years since our very first date.

Was it all for nothing?? Has the last thirty years of my life just been a complete and utter waste? Maybe my whole entire life has been. Or at least since I hit 15 years old anyway.

Why do I have to be an empath... Why do I have to be a virgo... Think too much. Feel too much.

Maybe I should research some of the dark goddesses. Celtic goddess of despair,chaos,sadness??...

Blessed Be




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